At Least They Are Not Crazy

by Dustin Hawkins

I take back every mean, outrageous thing I’ve ever said about liberals. Watching the destructive nature of fanatical Muslims – over a cartoon no less – has made me a lot more appreciative of the nuts in our own country. That’s not to say that I necessarily like liberals, believe they are good for the country, or will be inviting Ted Kennedy over for cocktails and an afternoon drive in his Town Car anytime soon. I just don’t think they are certifiably insane anymore. (Author’s Note: Except for Dennis Kucinich.)

Which takes me to the crazed Muslims who have spent the past week burning down Danish, Norwegian, and Swedish embassies, flipping over cars, throwing rocks and other objects, burning flags, rioting, calling for executions, and promising more 9/11-like attacks. (Ironically, the Muslims were upset about a cartoon drawing a link between Islam and violence. Why would anyone say something crazy like that?) And all of this violence is coming from the moderate wing of fanatical Muslims. Jesse Jackson could only dream of inciting race riots of this magnitude.

Of course the ability of the Practitioners of the Religion of Peace to resort to mass hysteria, rioting, and death as a result of irrational overreaction isn’t limited to this past week. Just last May, hundreds of rioting Muslims were injured and dozens more died following a later-retracted Newsweek story about Guantanamo Bay soldiers flushing a Koran down the toilet. Even if the story had been true, mass uprisings leading to multiple deaths would have been a slightly overcooked response to the situation. (On the other hand, forcing detainees to watch the Rolling Stones 2006 Super Bowl halftime show again may cause understandable rioting.)

This is what happens when countries are devoid of massive amounts of “evil” western influence, or what I like to call “entertainment.” Say what you want about our obsession with reality television, video games, and porn, but at least we have more stuff to do than take to the streets like third-world Neanderthals and annihilate communities over a poorly drawn “your momma” joke.

Quick, get these kids a Playstation and a Comcast digital television package. While you are at it, forget that crazy “converting them to Christianity” idea, this will be much more effective and to the point. We need to get these kids away from forced memorized recitations of the Koran and into soccer uniforms.

Here in America, or what is known as “civilization” for those living in Syria, we respond to outrageous events in culture the old-fashioned way: by writing op-eds in newspapers! The most outrageous response you can expect from those “crazy Christians” in response to art depicting Jesus covered in cow feces or crucifixes being submerged in urine is angry opinion pieces in the Washington Times or a threat to de-fund the National Endowment for the Arts.

At the same time, liberals may be a lot of things but at least they don’t douse themselves in gasoline and set themselves on fire on my front lawn every time I crack a joke involving Hillary Clinton and her thighs. The worst that liberals regularly come up with is banging pots and pans in front of the Capitol, reciting asinine chants like “Boobs not Bombs,” and threatening to leave the country if they lose an election. And they can’t even come through with the last promise. If a fanatical Muslim says he will strap dynamite on his 6-year old son and send him into your home because you are doing whatever-it-is-we-infidels-do-today, you tend to take him seriously. We don’t so much have to worry about liberals in that way.

If the events of the past week don’t put an exclamation point on to what we are dealing with – the irrationality and hatred resulting from tools of fanatical Islamic propaganda – and force everyone to realize that the enemy we face is dangerous and only getting more daring, what will it take? How long before we can no longer say anything about the Practitioners of Peace without having them threaten to engage in their ancient ritual of removal of head from body?

Most dangerous is the willingness of those who are right to give in to the demands of the fanatics. Israel constantly gives in to the commands of the Palestinians as a result of their desire for a peace that the fanatics do not want. Countries apologize for their own free speech codes in their own country after the Crazed Ones take to the streets with torches. Late last year, France responded to mass rioting by Muslim youth by promising more welfare programs for them. Giving in to the enemy is more dangerous than fighting it and telling them enough is enough. Giving in to their demands only encourages them.

Dustin Hawkins is a staff writer for the New Media Alliance, editor of capitolhilljournal.com, a Townhall.com political writer, and author of Stuck on Stupid: The Elitist Liberals’ War on America.