by
Dustin Hawkins
According to white liberals, I'm really missing
the boat. As a supposed beneficiary of “white privilege,” a topic that
reached its pinnacle in the week leading up to MLK Day, white and black
liberals keep telling me how much I have benefited from my whiteness.
So, I went on a search to find out the truth about my automatic benefits
and discover just how evil I am.
A Boston Globe columnist obsessed over the “white privilege” of
the Justice Alito nomination to the Supreme Court before going on a
(highly off-topic) Bush-bash-fest and signaling his support for
abortion-on-demand. As far as Alito goes, I wanted Janice Rogers Brown,
and I'm sure that would have been a real
liberal-white-privilege-pleaser. The columnist had plenty mentions of
the phrase “white privilege” but no answers on how to get there.
Peggy McIntosh, a “feminist scholar,” said that she has “come to see
white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can
count on cashing in each day, but about which I was 'meant' to remain
oblivious.” I kept reading, but she never got to what she has cashed in
on and how. Please, open the invisible package and tell me what is
inside, because I want the invisible benefits from the invisible package
too.
According to Eleanor Hubbard, who taught a “Whiteness Studies” course at
the University of Colorado, I am supposed to realize that I have
privileges as a result of “being white, not for any other reason like
[I am] smarter or have a better education." That’s great Eleanor, but
I'm still looking for an answer. What are my privileges and where can I
use my “I'm White” coupon? I need answers.
A Seattle Times columnist honed in on his white guilt by
proclaiming that he is almost as guilty as his forefather slave-owners
and that he was a “beneficiary of white privilege.” He didn't say how he
benefited, but added that he was ashamed that he never had a black guest
in his house. He reminds me of the sort of liberal suffering from white-guiltism
who goes on national television to proclaim “I have black friends!”
In Pennsylvania, the first Pocono Mountain Diversity Awareness
Conference is set to discuss, among other things, “explaining white
privilege.” I'd go, but something tells me it will be just another
invisible package.
A columnist for New Jersey’s The Record said that “denial” is the
essential element of white privilege. Well, I'm done denying it. You
guys win. I'm ready to use my “White Privilege” ATM card and make a
withdrawal. White and black liberals keep telling me of all the
privileges I have, and it’s about time I start getting them. I don't
want to deny them, I just want to know where to find them. I thought
maybe he would point me in the direction, but all I learned is that
Hurricane Katrina is an example of “White Privilege.” Needless to say,
that doesn't help me out on my quest.
Something has got to give. I worked an average of 45 hours a week from
age 18 on to put myself through college. As a beneficiary of “White
Privilege” I want an honorary doctorate in Peace Studies from Stanford
and for my college loans to be paid off. Apparently I should have had a
free ride in the first place, I am white after all.
I also want a refund for the cost of my speeding ticket I received last
year. The officer must have been confused when he pulled me over, not
realizing that I was DWW – Driving While White. (I also want the four
hours of my life back spent sitting through a dreadful drivers-ed
course, but that's another story.)
I'm not sure what other privileges I am supposed to have, because either
I am unaware of them having happened to me or I'm simply missing the
boat on cashing in on them. I'm hoping that white liberals will start to
help me out on this, because they seem to know a lot about blaming me
for things, and I haven't even benefited from my evilness. (And I'm not
denying I have white privilege – which is the first sign that white
privilege exists, apparently – I just want to know where to pick up my
benefits package.)
I found researching into how to cash in on my
white privilege to be an overwhelming task. Despite a news search having
turned up hundreds of columns on “white privilege,” not one showed me
any useful way of getting in on my inherent, God-given benefits of being
white. Vague declarations of the mythical beast usually turned into
tirades about the Iraq War, complaints about ending Affirmative Action,
the need for expanding abortion-on-demand, or how much guilt white
liberals have.
One Syracuse student suffering from white-guiltism: "Why are we dancing
around this issue? The real issue here is our own white privilege and
racism within ourselves that we have to examine.” And a writer to an
Oregon newspaper: “I was born privileged because I was born white. Being
white means that my life is and will always be easier merely because I
am white.” Or a letter to the editor of the Charlotte Observer: “If
‘whites had a holiday like Kwanzaa’? They do. It's called white
privilege, and it lasts all year long.”
That sounds like a fun holiday! I want to celebrate it. But, liberals, I
need your help to find this answer. If you are going to lecture me on
how easy my life is because I am white, I can at least demand to know
what I can do to benefit. And besides, it's not my fault that a liberal
Seattle Times columnist has never invited a black person into his
home.
Dustin Hawkins is the Editor of the Capitol Hill Journal, and a
contributing political writer for Townhall.com and a Staff Writer for
the New Media Alliance. His first book, Stuck on Stupid: The Elitist
Liberal's War on America is now available for preorder at
www.capitolhilljournal.com/preorder.
The opinions expressed in
this column represent those of the author and do not necessarily reflect
the opinions, views, or philosophy of TheRealityCheck.org
