And Now For the News from Fake News International:

(FNI)  Washington –  Fake News International may be sending the next edition of this column from prison…..no health care premium, you go to jail, right?  You agreed to that, right?  You authorized your US “Representative,” right?  According to the Congressional Budget Office the lowest- cost family non-group plan under the Speaker’s bill would cost $15,000 in 2016.  FNI is just checking to be certain before publishing this actual, real, factual news, as follows:

“H.R. 3962 provides that an individual (or a husband and wife in the case of a joint return) who does not, at any time during the taxable year, maintain acceptable health insurance coverage for himself or herself and each of his or her qualifying children is subject to an additional tax.” [page 1]

“If the government determines that the taxpayer’s unpaid tax liability results from willful behavior, the following penalties could apply…” [page 2]

Prosecution is authorized under the Code for a variety of offenses.  Depending on the level of the noncompliance, the following penalties could apply to an individual:

• Section 7203 – misdemeanor willful failure to pay is punishable by a fine of up to $25,000 and/or imprisonment of up to one year.

• Section 7201 – felony willful evasion is punishable by a fine of up to $250,000 and/or imprisonment of up to five years.” [page 3]

(FNI)  Sacramento — In a stunning revelation by the State of Californicate, the state may have been less than truthful about the number of jobs saved by the Stimulus Plan.  Californicate State University, bastion of truth, had declared in an official accounting that as many as one out of every four of the 110,000 jobs at the school were saved by the Stimulus Plan.  This amounted, school officials claimed, to more jobs saved than the entire State of Texas and forty four other states.  Now, school officials, admit, as many as half of those 26,156 of jobs were never in danger of being abolished.  As explained by a University spokesperson, to your complete satisfaction FNI is certain, “This is not a real number of people; It’s like a budget number.”  If FNI thought there was even the slightest chance that a clearer explanation would be given by the University, we would pursue the matter.

(FNI)  Washington –  Displaying for all present a complete, absolute understanding of the awards of this nation for various types of actions, putative president Obama added a new one:  a “Shout Out” at a Tribal Nations Conference hosted by the Department of Interior’s Bureau of Indian affairs.  Unfortunately for the putative president, he DIShonored both Doctor Joe Medicine Crow and the award by claiming that Dr. Crow was a recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor when Dr. Crow actually had received the Medal of Freedom this past August, presented by…..Oops, putative president Obama himself.

(FNI)  Washington — Proving that, once again and as always, Democrats are simply just a lot faster than Republicans, newly minted US Congreseman Bill Owens from New York State reneged on four campaign promises within hours of his installation, including cuts in Medicare, taxing healthcare benefits, and hiking taxes on the middle class.  FNI is checking the Guinness Book of Records to see if Congressbeing Owens is the new record holder.

(FNI)  Washington — Fake News International will also attempt to discover if Cong. Owens, now in favor of hiking your taxes, is among the 237 members of Congress who are millionaires.  Of interest to you should be that, while 44 per cent of Congress Members are millionaires, only one per cent of Americans in general have achieved that lofty status.  FNI is certain that the news will be greeted with particular glee by those who are among the 10.2% of Americans who are now unemployed.  They, FNI is also certain, can contact their Member of Congress for help in this regard.  Please be aware also that the number may drop to 236, with the conviction of former Congressman Jefferson of Louisiana on charges of corruption.  Jefferson, you will recall, was found to have stored $90,000 in bribe money in his refrigerator during Hurrican Katrina.

(FNI)  Everywhere — For those of you contemplating the burgeoning cost of health care insurance and the quote above of having to pay as much as $15,000 per year shortly for that coverage, add to that question the conundrum of why AARP, an organization that advertises itself as being on the side of the average person would be in favor of such increases.  A peek at the AARP website provides the following clue — among the “benefits” that AARP advertises:  “…..Access to health insurance, automobile insurance, homeowners insurance…..,” suggesting, at least, that increased premiums may greatly benefit an organization that looks more and more like an insurance company that publishes a magazine as a sideline.

(FNI)  Washington — In case you have been wondering whether the old adage “we are known by the friends we keep” is still true, wonder no more.  An unnamed Democrat consultant who appeared on Fox News recently is quoted as saying that they were told by the White House, “We better not see you on again.”   Anita Dunn, Director of Communications for the promised most transparent administration in history, you will be pleased to learn, has denied the charge.

(FNI)  Havana — If causing a chill to settle on the media seems “foreign” to you, there is news from the nation of Cuba, one of the biggest admirers of the present US administration.  Well-known Cuban blogger Yoani Sanchez, on her way recently to an anti-violence gathering in Havana along with friends, was thrown into a car by, probably, Cuban Government officials, and physically assaulted before being thrown from the car.  FNI has learned that Democrat strategists have recently developed an increased concern about attending anti-violence gatherings in Washington, DC.

(FNI)  Neander Town — From the world of Family Trees, comes news that we modern Homo Sapiens may have lived alongside Neanderthals in Europe and may even have had closer “relationships” than that with the brutish brutes, relationships that may have intertwined genetic characteristics persisting until today.  Many women who are regular readers of Fake News International are right now nodding their heads in the affirmative while glancing across the room at the group of in-house Neanderthals gathered in front of the television for the Saturday football games.  Many Homo Sapiens of both genders are likely attributing the White House threat aimed at a Democrat strategist (“We better not see you on there again.”) to a White House Neanderthal who shall remain unnamed.

(FNI)  Moscow –  On the international scene, Russian fake president Medvedev told his audience on Thursday that Russia needs to shed its current dependence on the export of oil, natural gas, and other raw materials and shift to a new economic base of technology. “The nation’s prestige and welfare can’t depend forever on the achievements of the past,” he said, while neglecting to mention any achievement whatsoever.  The announcement should cause alarm bells to go off all over the US national intelligence community.  Since all of the Soviets’/Russians’ technological discoveries in the past have been “discovered” in other countries’ safes, computer hard drives, and file cabinets, other nations can anticipate an upsurge in Russian economic espionage in the near future………The ONLY thing that Russia has discovered on its own is that Communism doesn’t work…..

(FNI)  New York –  Switching back to the domestic scene now in an attempt to make your head spin even faster and thus increase our ratings, there is news that will make banks, auto-sales firms, and credit card companies extremely happy.  The City University of New York (CUNY), based on tests given to incoming freshmen, has discovered (Are you sitting down?) that graduates of New York City high schools were “stumped” by basic Algebra questions involving fractions and decimals.  At one of CUNY’s four-year colleges, 90% of the students tested could not solve a simple Algebra problem.  Only one third of those tested could convert a fraction into a decimal, thus explaining the blank stares on the faces of many college students when asked what the finance charge is on their credit cards.

(FNI)   Moscow — The soon-to-be-late fake President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev, has pledged to disband Russia’s inefficient state corporations, created by his predecessor Vladimir Putin, and has called for a probe into their use of state money.  Those FNI readers who are able to take out an insurance policy on fake President Medvedev with themselves as beneficiaries should do so at the earliest possible opportunity.

(FNI)  Serbia – Those opposed to the present alleged health care bill recently passed by the US House of (alleged) Representatives will be cheered by the latest news from Serbia, where residents are stocking up on their latest solution to the Swine Flu epidemic:  Garlic.  While Serbian Health officials continue trying to get Serbs to instead wash their hands more often, Serbs continue to ignore the pleas and opt for Garlic instead, to the extent that the price for the pungent herb has skyrocketed in recent weeks.  FNI has been told by a source deep within Specious Pelosi’s organization that she will not add “Garlic Coverage” to the 1300-page legislation because, as she is quoted as saying, “It already stinks to high Heaven.”